{farm life dangers}

Let me tell you about today, I almost died....ok well that's a little dramatic but I could have died....well I could have gotten a lot colder than I did.

 

This morning I poured a large cup of coffee, turned on Fashion Police and was just settling in on the couch when Dan texts me to go check for eggs before they freeze. He left about 6am to go coyote hunting and the kids are with Grandpa and Ann, so I'm home alone. 

 

I grabbed my coat and hat but forgo the boots because my bare feet and slippers seemed like a fine choice at the time.  I did grab my phone because after last year's incident I always have it on me when I'm here alone.  Last year, Dan couldn't get ahold of me one evening when he was hunting in SoDak and ended up sending my brother in law over to check on me.  I had fallen asleep and left my phone in the mud room so I couldn't hear it ringing.  It was very nice of Rob to come over and make sure I was ok but embarrassing none the less.  Back to today: I'm just running about 40 yards across the farm and back, what could happen right?

 

Friday was relatively warm so I'm sure it's not

that bad outside.  Wrong!

Stella and Ruger came out with me and we darted over to collect the eggs.  The coop is a small building and the door is a cut in half, high low door (Think Chandler's door after Joey cut it with the saw while he was building the unit) and each piece has one of those garden gate latches on it that you can only access from the outside. I opened both doors and walked inside, shut the bottom door behind and left the top one open for light and fresh air. 

Good morning girls, aren't they pretty!?

Stella wanted to come in and tried to jump inside so I pulled the top door shut a little bit to block her. That's when she got her sweet revenge, she jumped up and pushed the top door shut!  Not realizing what happened, I was petting the chickens and checking for eggs.  Three hens were still in the nesting boxes so I figured it was best to come back in about 15 minutes and check again.  Geez these chickens are lazy, get busy!  That's when it hit me, I am locked in.  I looked around trying to find something to jimmy the door open, nope nothing in here but chickens/ducks and their poop.  I text Dan and rather un-ladylike message and try to plan some sort of escape.  When nothing comes to mind other than busting the door down I called him and he said: "Yeah you'll probably be frozen by the time I get home. He didn't say "Ok honey, love of my life, I'll be right there to save you." He said: "well, do what you have to do."   First, I try to get Ruger to use his massive paw to lift the latch up so I can push the door open. 

 As you can see, he was no help at all.

 



These doors were just reinforced and rehung this summer so they are about as strong as they could be.  Who do I think I am, busting down doors? There must be another way, could I wait until Dan got home? Could I pop out the window? No, that would be more work then trying to bust open the door. 

 

I tried to distract myself by taking a picture, my first selfie with a chicken!

Here goes nothing, and I gave a half hearted attempt hoping that the door would pop open. I'm trying to open just the top door and not break both the latches.  I don't think it even budged, dust and debris fell down on me and that fueled my next attempt.  I stepped back a few feet and run towards the door again, nothing but a pain in my shoulder.  At this point the chickens are flapping around and screeching.  Feathers and fecal matter dust are floating in the air and I'm starting to do one of those laughs that's blocking a cry.  I step back again, run forward and launch off my feet with all my might...I open my eyes as I'm hanging half in and half out of the coop on top of the bottom door.  

 Success! I'm gonna live, my children will not be motherless! The latches busted free and I had to bend it back a little. I drudged my way back up to the house, slippers full of snow thinking that is the most ridiculous thing that has happened in a long time.  There better be eggs when I go back

Good girls!